Monday, May 16, 2011
RANT: SAYING NO WHEN YOU MEAN YES! AND AN EXAMPLE OF BULLYING!
AS SOON AS I WENT OUTSIDE, my mother said: "oh no! Never say you want anything!"
Why not I thought, but okay.
Same thing with my dad. But he was worse. He belived in doing great deeds and not telling anyone. WHO DOESN'T LIKE SOME CREDIT, right? But that was my dad.
Now for the purposes of this rant: let me lay it out for you!
If someone does something really stupid and ticks you off but totally, why do we feel it incumbent upon ourselves to smile and make believe we don't hate them and we don't really want to throw a pie in their face? Hmm? Okay no pie throwing, but a frown at least?!
Even worse is at work your boss acts like a total Richard head and takes credit for something you did. Why can't we say, "ah excuse me you sneaky son of a... why did you do that? I'm not going to let you take credit for that!"
Wouldn't i be nice to announce to the entire office:
AH, PEOPLE I THOUGHT OF THAT. STUPID AND SNEAKY HERE DIDN'T! IT WAS ME, ONLY ME! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But reality is different!
I came up with a money making idea for the organization and SHE TOOK CREDIT FOR IT.
So unfair. I wanted to scream and shout. Okay, excessive--but at the very least I wanted to take credit for it because it really turned out to be successful!
I didn't say anything which is an example of what I'm ranting about. WHY didn't I say anything? I left the job anyway! I mean I got tired of having chest pains along with my lunch! I was pretty young too, who needed that? I wasn't prepared to die over a lousy job!
Saying yes when you mean no, smiling when you want to tell someone off (who deserves it) can be very annoying--stifling emotion can cause problems to your health, really.
After that experience I was kinder to myself. I did speak up. And when I was bullied post 9/11 (LIKE THE DAY AFTER (!) in England where I was working by a boss who said, "So what?' basically, I reported him! Let me add there were other issues where I was singled out for his virtriol. But the worst of that happened immediately after September 11th.
He deserved to be held accountable and I had the satisfaction of being taken seriously. I was transferred to another department and told my complaint went on his permanent record. At the end of it, I received a dozen roses!
Rants are good they can be healthy but we need to follow a constructive coarse of action.
I don't in any way believe in being petty or overly sensitive. However, wrong is wrong. And one of the worst most damaging wrongs of all is bullying!
Now bullying deserves a rant all by itself!
Come and give me some feedback about bullying or about this rant in general. I love feedback.